Aldy is a #loloxgogodad who also happen to be Denia’s husband. You will find him occasionally write in this blog about his travel trip or random story about fatherhood. Here is his first note ever on parenthood, enjoy!
The past 2 years (and still ongoing) have truly been a test for my fatherhood. I am not that close with my father that we would talk about how to be a great new dad, and nobody really tells me how either, so I kind of let my intuition grows. A great apps on baby development also provides me information that feeds my need to be a dad. So this is my sharing on how I think and do for the past two years (ok, not all the time, I am not that ambitious to be a role model for new daddies, anyway) :
- If you think about it, it’s really tiring to have baby. So, step up and take some of the load. Change diapers at least once a day, or bathe the baby at least a day a week. Be real patient! With the baby crying impatiently for milk or diaper change, the tired wife, and spill over stress from work, it’s so easy for us to be impatient. If you have a newborn babies, do the night-shift! It’s very challenging, but you can turn that into a fun me-session. Play a dvd or watch your favorite serial on tv or the internet while having the baby at hand drinking milk was my choice when doing my night-shift. Remember, we, the fathers, can also do it!
- Extra attention, love, and of course, patient, for your wife. Let your wife have some me-time. Maybe going to a mall, or a salon, or movie with her friends, of course without the baby and you take care of the baby. Maybe give massage your wife, with technique you can copy easily from youtube. Happy moms will give good quality flow of breastmilk, which is good for our baby. It’s like killing two birds with one stone (talking about being efficient dads!). Cook for or with your wife could also be one thing to put on your to-do list. Although, through our experience (as well as some of our friends’), a joint cooking-session could be challenging (beware of post-cooking conflict!). Or at least wash the dishes, please.
- Bonding with your baby. I know, being hardworking dads where some of you might have limited time at home, but bonding is important for you guys! One great idea is to spend at least one or two days a week to sunbathe your baby (in my case it’s on Saturdays and Sundays because I need to leave early for work on workdays). Go for a walk around the neighborhood just the two of you. Or watch cartoon and animation movies (this is hard for me, as my core movies are thriller-gory-horror, but some are actually interesting, trust me). A good friend also told me about this. When the baby number 2 was born, he spent most of his Saturday mornings taking his first daughter for a simple ride to wash his car and a small breakfast.
- Have a (dinner) date. Without the baby, of course. It’s not only for your wife, but also for you. I sometimes want to just hangout without bringing baby’s meal, diapers and all, the stroller, and having to watch my kids exploring the venue! (And I bet you do too!)
- Take care of your health and appearance. Do some exercises, please. A very fit friend told me that we should do cardio exercise for at least 30 mins everyday. It sounded hard for me, but it was actually the start that made it hard. Once I got the habit, its actually not that hard.
Be partnered with your wife in taking care of your appearance. It is so cute to be a couple with good appearance when strolling with your baby (or babies).
Why am I doing those things? Well, my two main reasons in doing those things are because I believe in shared responsibilities between husband and wife in parenting, and because I want to prove, hey, I can do it too!